Speaking  at the  Brother William Geenen Living Room 

30th Anniversary Luncheon Nov. 7, 2010

 

I am greeting you briefly today because I am among the tens of thousands of grateful beneficiaries of the Brother Geenen Living Room and its ancillary riches.

 

Most of you know that when you reach your sixth decade or better, you may start to believe that you have earned the right to “rest on your laurels.” Any new tasks or skills that you acquire are usually those you choose and most are destined to provide leisure, fun and fulfillment.

 

When we live or move to Florida’s sun coast, we start to imagine that perhaps finding ourselves in this paradisiacal community may just  be our reward for having done something right.

 

At this stage of life we no longer need to challenge our abilities or intellect. Our debates are often no more testy than whether we ought call ourselves mature, seniors elders or, God forbid, “Old.”

 

We think we have a good handle on our personal strengths and expect or hope they will continue to navigate us through the obstacles and joys of living later in life.

 

Best laid plans not withstanding, however, when the specter of illness, injury and or dementia encroach uninvited on our little piece of paradise and settle like an avenging angel on our lives and relationships, dreams and imagining are more often than not replaced by anxiety, fear and self doubt. 

 

Fear, approaching terror, can often accompany the realization that an adult, with whom you have an equivocal relationship has lost or is losing the capacity to shoulder his or her sufficiency. Additionally they can no longer maintain a heretofore relied on contribution to the relationship.

 

Whether a spouse, parent, partner, sibling or and an adult child, coming to accept that you have a new and total responsibility for the well being of a newly dependent loved one can create intense fear and panic.

 

However, as devastating as it is to face the caregiving role unprepared and over challenged, the devastation may not compare in intensity to that experience by your care partner. Their illness or impairment has descended upon them to confuse, disable and to corrode independence and self reliance.

 

The visionaries that gave this community the Brother Geenen Living Room understood the jarring lose-lose sense of this all-too familiar scenario. They understood that I and others similarly situated would one day desperately need the special solace of this gracious place. They understood the healing  force of a construct whose components of love and welcome could turn our lose-lose to 

win-win.

 

The competent, caring service provided to families by the Living Room is an antidote to fear and self-doubt for both care partners. It is not just  a light at the end of the tunnel; it illuminates the tunnel as it quiets despair.

 

It is a respite from the relentlessness of caregiving and a rescue from the haunting fear of ineptitude. Its gifted staff models patience and reinforces our gentle side.

 

People who enter or have a major role in your life when you are attempting to develop the elusive coping skills of caregiving have a place in your heart forever. The names of the special people who developed, support, lead and every day make the Living Room real, are most assuredly inscribed on the totem of unique humanity.

 

My association with the Senior Friendship Center, The Living Room, The Caregiver Resource Center and its support for caregivers has provided me an unmatched reward. Thank you for being there when I needed you and for allowing me to share in the celebration. 

 

Click here for more information on Senior Friendship Centers Living Rooms.